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LIFESTYLE REFLECTIONS Uncategorized

SO, YOU’RE TOO INDEPENDENT? THINK AGAIN.

Well – I planned to write a product review on the Maybelline Cheek Heat Blush, but I didn’t fall in love with it (which I promise to briefly explain why later), so instead I did some thinking, and I’d like to share something important that I realized today; the value in independence.

I think now is a good time to tell you that I’m very independent.

Don’t get me wrong – I love to be social and be amongst company. But I also love to have time to myself and reflect. I’m convinced my best thinking happens when I am completely lost in the moment by myself. It’s when I conjure up the most creative solutions to problems, and become the most self-aware of my thoughts and actions.

Have you ever turned down the radio while driving so you can focus better? Totally guilty; I also do this with real-life interactions.

Being independent has its perks, but there is also a haze of fog that follows it.

I’m very proud of being independent, but it would be misleading to make you think it’s never failed me. I’m aware of the value that comes with being independent. That being said, I’m equally in tune with the fear it brings to a relationship.

I’ve always found it so odd when ahem, ex-boyfriends in particular, place a heavy intolerance on independence. I’m a firm believer that you should never change your identity for a person. One of those stick to your guns and be true to yourself mantras.

I know a relationship is a two-way street, but here’s the 411.

In my opinion, “You’re too independent” translates roughly to “I am insecure because your independence endangers my perception of autonomy.”

I get it. Some men want to be chauvinistic and protect a woman, and some girls want to feel protected, that’s fine. However, a person should never feel responsible to limit themselves for the sake of a relationship if that lessens their freedom or personal experiences.

A relationship where one sacrifices their individuality or independence is not founded in truth, and is unhealthy as a whole.

I aspire to be true to myself, and my individuality, because it’s a permanent part of me. This isn’t an ill-intended homage to those asking us to sacrifice those parts of us. Rather, it’s about realizing our self-worth and knowing when to make a choice for our happiness.

Life has a funny way of dealing cards. Just because it’s not what you had envisioned, doesn’t mean it’s not possible in the future. Know your self-worth, respect your happiness, and don’t purchase cream blush that’s translucent.

With love,

Ashley

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5 replies on “SO, YOU’RE TOO INDEPENDENT? THINK AGAIN.”

I remember when my husband first told me that he appreciated my independence. That’s one of the ways I knew it was meant to be – and it was so early on in our relationship. Independence creates positive boundaries, and gives less room for codependency, which is so toxic. I’m glad you’re proud of your independence. It’s a wonderful trait to have!

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